In troubled marriages, information can seem not like a source of love and power, but a one-way ticket to more misery. After all, the thinking goes, if your spouse revealed what she really thinks or what he really feels, the fallout could be catastrophic.
Not so fast. A popular article has been making its away around the web, claiming that 36 simple questions can help anyone fall in love. There's real science to back up this claim. Research suggests that simply knowing more about a person can make that person more appealing – even if he or she is your spouse.
Of course, when you're fighting all the time, asking someone about their dreams for the future can be a recipe for disaster, especially if those dreams don't include you. If you want to explore your spouse's psyche without risking hurt feelings, try asking the following questions. Not only will they help you get to know one another all over again; they may also help you find new ways of relating:
· What's your best memory of us as a couple?
· What did you think of me when we first met?
· What do you think is our biggest strength as a couple?
· If you could change one thing about our marriage, what would it be?
· If I could change one behavior tomorrow to make you happier, what would it be?
· What would you like to change about yourself as a partner?
· What are your hopes for our future together?
· How do you think our values and relationship have changed over time?
· What's the best thing about being married to me?
· Is there any sexual trick you've been itching to try?
· What are you most scared of in our relationship?
· If I could surprise you with anything, what would you want for it to be?
· What does a perfect day look like for you?
· Which ways of showing love feel best to you? Gifts? Sex? Favors? Something else?
· If I could get you any gift in the world, what would you want? Why?
· If you could travel anywhere, where would it be?
· What's the sexiest thing I could do for your right now?
Don't stop at just asking questions. Remember, you're exploring your spouse's mind for a reason. Getting to know this person all over again can help remind you why you fell in love in the first place. Even more importantly, though, these simple questions can give you deep insight into what your spouse needs, what he or she wants most from you, and what you can do now to improve your marriage. After all, if you have the power to give your spouse the perfect day, change what bothers him or her most about your marriage, or build upon your greatest strengths as a couple, why wouldn't you?
