If you are reading this, you probably already know from experience that parenting is the hardest job you ever take on, especially when you’re doing it right! Although the cliché comes to mind that “children don’t come with a manual”, the fact is, parenting is often a lot of guesswork and trial and error that you can never really be prepared for. This is never more true than in family crisis situations when it seems like there aren’t any clear “right answers”. Although it is one of the most painstaking tasks, parents are key in helping the child make sense of their world, especially when times are tough.
“He’ll Never Remember It Anyway…”
Because I work primarily with young children from infancy to five years of age, I often get the question: “What’s the point in trying to explain anything? He won’t understand and he’ll never remember it anyway!”
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By: Jennifer Hume
In my last article I wrote about core issues and how they are at the root of surface issues. I introduced a fictional couple, Trixie and Bob. Trixie and Bob had a repeating surface issue fight about Bob’s failure to help around the house as Trixie had repeatedly asked. Trixie became angry; Bob became defensive and shut down, which caused Trixie to get even more angry. And, you guessed it; Bob really shuts down after that. So on and so forth.
Can you sense the vicious cycle here? My Google search defined a vicious cycle, also called a vicious circle, quite well. It is “a sequence of reciprocal cause and effect in which two or more elements intensify and aggravate each other, leading inexorably to a worsening of the situation.” Synonyms are: downward spiral, catch-22, chicken and egg situation, and vortex.
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