Bruce Law Firm | StayMarriedFlorida Blog

StayMarriedFlorida was developed by Palm Beach Divorce Lawyer Christopher R. Bruce and is supported by the Bruce Law Firm

Stepping Out of Vicious Cycles: How to Stop the Never-Ending Fight

By: Jennifer Hume

In my last article I wrote about core issues and how they are at the root of surface issues. I introduced a fictional couple, Trixie and Bob.  Trixie and Bob had a repeating surface issue fight about Bob’s failure to help around the house as Trixie had repeatedly asked.  Trixie became angry; Bob became defensive and shut down, which caused Trixie to get even more angry.  And, you guessed it; Bob really shuts down after that.  So on and so forth.

Can you sense the vicious cycle here?  My Google search defined a vicious cycle, also called a vicious circle, quite well.  It is “a sequence of reciprocal cause and effect in which two or more elements intensify and aggravate each other, leading inexorably to a worsening of the situation.”  Synonyms are: downward spiral, catch-22, chicken and egg situation, and vortex.

 

Read More

Married with Children: Keeping the Spark Alive

Divorce attorney Christopher R. Bruce recently interviewed Palm Beach Gardens Marriage Counselor Nathan Oliver about how couples can "keep the spark alive" in their relationship after having children.   Nathan's interview (which contains easy to implement practical advice) is accessible below and will be available within the next 24 hours for free download at the iTunes store: click here to download from iTunes. 

Editor's Note: Nathan Oliver (and his Wife Amy) are marriage and relationship counselors in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida.  Nathan and Amy's StayMarriedFlorida profile can be viewed by clicking here.  Nathan and Amy can also be contacted at (561) 622-1107, or through their website, www.olivercounseling.com.

Karen Collins' Happy & Healthy Relationships Podcast

West Palm Beach Divorce attorney Christopher R. Bruce recently interviewed Jupiter Mental Health Therapist Karen Collins  about how to develop and keep healthy and happy relationships.  Ms. Collins recently authored a book on the same subject, In the Pink: Developing Happy Relationships, and a StayMarriedFlorida.com blog post on Happy Relationships. Ms. Collins' interview is accessible below and will be available momentarily for free download at the iTunes store: click here to download from iTunes. 

Editor's Note: Karen Collins is a marriage and relationship counselor in Jupiter, Florida.  Karen's StayMarriedFlorida profile can be viewed by clicking here.  Karen can also be contacted at (561) 512-9743, or through her website, www.rlovestory.com.

How do you heal your wounded relationship? Get to the core.

How do you heal your wounded relationship?  Get to the core.

By: Jennifer J. Hume, M.Ed., LMHC

Working as a professional counselor for over 15 years, I have had the opportunity to learn from my work with countless couples.  Over the course of three articles, I’m going to share the most important things I’ve taken away from this work, the most critical aspects of healing wounded relationships.

The first step is the bedrock of relationship repair.  In couples counseling, I call it “getting to the core.”   The tricky part about doing it is, just like reaching the bedrock of the planet Earth, getting down to that firm foundation upon which to rebuild takes some sweat equity.  Getting to the core is hard work because it almost always gets complicated by power struggles, fear of vulnerability, and surface issues.  Allow me to explain these complicating factors before we really get to the meat of what core issues are and why it is imperative to work on them. 

Read More

Happy Relationships

Happy Relationships

By Karen Collins, MSW, LCSW, ACSW

Having a healthy and happy relationship is not as complicated as it may seem. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and mutual benefit. One of the most predominant qualities of a happy relationship is having respect for one another. If you do not talk to your partner with the same respect that you would speak to a friend, loved one, co-worker, boss or family member, then you have to question if you genuinely respect him or her. Treating your partner as your intellectual and emotional equal strengthens your relationship. Lack of respect can cause resentment; it is one of the quickest ways to undermine your relationship.

Consider some basic guidelines to assist you in developing and maintaining a healthy relationship. When you read over the guidelines, you will notice that all of them have some element of respect within the guideline.

  1. Keep in mind it is what you say, how you say it and when you say it! Your demeanor, tone, posture and attitude all factor into what you say and how well it is received.
Read More

Don't Do This!- 16 Ways to Blow Your Marriage

Dan Pierce, the twice divorced "single dad laughing" described the awkward situation of giving his little sister relationship advice on how to stay married before her wedding.

Given Mr. Pierce went through two divorces, his advice was more in the sense of what not to do.  Although half of his suggestions are couched in humor, I can tell you from years of listening to clients in my family law practice that taking his advice on what NOT to do is a great idea!

The top 16 things not to do in stay married (or 16 things to do to blow your marriage):

 1. Don't Stop Holding Her Hand

 

Read More