How do you heal your wounded relationship? Get to the core.
Working as a professional counselor for over 15 years, I have had the opportunity to learn from my work with countless couples. Over the course of three articles, I’m going to share the most important things I’ve taken away from this work, the most critical aspects of healing wounded relationships.
The first step is the bedrock of relationship repair. In couples counseling, I call it “getting to the core.” The tricky part about doing it is, just like reaching the bedrock of the planet Earth, getting down to that firm foundation upon which to rebuild takes some sweat equity. Getting to the core is hard work because it almost always gets complicated by power struggles, fear of vulnerability, and surface issues. Allow me to explain these complicating factors before we really get to the meat of what core issues are and why it is imperative to work on them.
Read MoreHappy Relationships
By Karen Collins, MSW, LCSW, ACSW
Having a healthy and happy relationship is not as complicated as it may seem. A healthy relationship is built on mutual respect and mutual benefit. One of the most predominant qualities of a happy relationship is having respect for one another. If you do not talk to your partner with the same respect that you would speak to a friend, loved one, co-worker, boss or family member, then you have to question if you genuinely respect him or her. Treating your partner as your intellectual and emotional equal strengthens your relationship. Lack of respect can cause resentment; it is one of the quickest ways to undermine your relationship.
Consider some basic guidelines to assist you in developing and maintaining a healthy relationship. When you read over the guidelines, you will notice that all of them have some element of respect within the guideline.
- Keep in mind it is what you say, how you say it and when you say it! Your demeanor, tone, posture and attitude all factor into what you say and how well it is received.
Read MoreCan the holiday season in sunny South Florida really be trouble in paradise? Is it really possible for relationships to strain when the holiday season is accompanied by the sunny, 75 degree weather that is the envy of the rest of the country? Believe it or not, yes.
The holiday season can be challenging for many couples as the hustle and bustle of and responsibilities of life continue along with extra financial strains, the pressures of making time for family, and the pleasure of hanging out with the in-laws. If couples are not proactive in their devotion to each other during the holidays their relationship can take a hit during what can otherwise be a wonderful time of the year.
Beth Steffaniak, a pastor's wife, counselor and life coach and creator of the Messy Marriage Blog, recently featured a list of six things couples can do to keep their relationship strong over the holidays:
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